Hooray! I finally have read (well, listened to) Charlotte’s Web by E.B. White. I was all sorts of stoked to read this book, because I remember loving the movie as a kidlet. Since I feel as though this book has been reviewed a countless number of times, let me instead give you a glimpse of how I felt about this story via GIFs.

Charlotte’s Web: A GIF Review because SpidersCharlotte's Web by E.B. White, Garth Williams, Rosemary Wells
Published by HarperCollinsPublishers on October 1st 2001
Pages: 184
Narrator: E.B. White
Length: 3 minutes, 34 seconds
Format: Audiobook
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This beloved book by E. B. White, author of Stuart Little and The Trumpet of the Swan, is a classic of children's literature that is "just about perfect."Some Pig. Humble. Radiant. These are the words in Charlotte's Web, high up in Zuckerman's barn. Charlotte's spiderweb tells of her feelings for a little pig named Wilbur, who simply wants a friend. They also express the love of a girl named Fern, who saved Wilbur's life when he was born the runt of his litter.E. B. White's Newbery Honor Book is a tender novel of friendship, love, life, and death that will continue to be enjoyed by generations to come. This edition contains color illustrations by Garth Williams, the acclaimed illustrator of E.B. White's Stuart Little and Laura Ingalls Wilder's Little House series, among many other books.Supports the Common Core State Standards

If you have never read this book or seen the movie, be warned: this review is full of spoilers!

How I felt when I started reading Charlotte’s Web:

And then they introduced Charlotte herself, and DESCRIBED HER BODY AND LEGS.

When I thought it couldn’t get worse, there were paragraphs describing how Charlotte drops down from her web.

But then she does a nice thing for Wilbur and writes “Some Pig” into her web, so then I was like “Awww.”

Those feelings evaporated quickly when it describes a sick Charlotte AND TALKS ABOUT HOW HER LEGS SPREAD WERE ON THE WEB.

And to make matters worse she lays eggs and the story keeps going on and on about her disgusting egg sack with 541 BABIES.

When the book was almost over, it occurred to me that Fern is basically an irrelevant character. Why is she on the cover of every book?

When I thought I was done with all the spider-nasty, I got to the end where ALL OF THE EFFING SPIDERS BABIES HATCH. 

And then I was completely done with this story. Emotional trauma to the extreme.



I liked this story, but it loses a whole star for too much spider-talk. 


Have you read or seen Charlotte’s Web? What were your thoughts? (Don’t worry, your thoughts/opinions don’t have to be as sarcastic as mine.)